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Saving the Pincess!
ok, i found this and i spent 2 hours laughing my ass of it. Sorry, i had to translate it, so it might be full of spelling and gramar mistakes.
SAVING THE PRINCESS!!!
"In a dark castle, on the highest tower lives a extremely sexy princess. Prisoner by a deadly and terrible dragon, she awaits to be rescued..." and so it beggins...
>>POWER METAL
the main character arrives at the castle, riding a white pegasus, he rescues her and they make love.
>>TRUE METAL
The main character arrives to the castle, defeats the dragon using his holy sword. With the dragon´s blood dripping of his body, he and the princess make love.
>>THRASH METAL
The main character arrives to the castle a few hours later, with a bottle of beer in one hand. He fights with the dragon, saving the princess and tring to have sex with her. Then he goes away, looking for more beer.
>>HEAVY METAL
The main character arrives to the castle riding a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon and then he has a few drinks with the princess. Then they do it. He gets a new tatto to remember it.
>>FOLK METAL
The main character arrives with a few friends playing the accordion, the violin and other strange instruments. The dragon falls asleep defeated by so much dancing. Then they go away... without the princess.
>>VIKING METAL
The main character arrives in a big ship, kills the dragon with a double axe, cooks it and finally he eats it. He and his mates rape the princess, plunder the castle and before they leave, he burns everything.
>>DEATH METAL
The main character arrives to the castle, kills the dragon, has sex with the princess before killing her and the he leaves howling at the moon.
>>BLACK METAL
He arrives at the dawn, hidden in the fog, kills the dragon with the help of Satan and they cruzified him in front of the castle. He sodomize the princess, cutting her with a dagger and drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he discovers that she wasnt a virgin so she is cruzified with the dragon.
>>GORE METAL
The main character arrives killing the dragon. He goes up to the tower, has sex with the princess before murdering her. Then he has sex with the corpse. When he is done, he burns it. Then he has sex with it again. He burry it, desecrates the tumb and fucks it again. Two hours later he eats her (or what is left).
>>DOOM METAL
The main character arrives to the castle, sees the size of the dragon, gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his corpse and then he does the same with the princess.
>>CLASSIC ROCK ‘N’ ROLL
The main character arrives to the castle riding a motorbike and smoking a joint. He offers it to the dragon and what a coincidence! They were already friends. Then he camps with the princess in the backyard and afer a lot of sex, drugs and rock n roll, and tooo much LSD, dies by his own vomit.
>>PUNK
He arrives. He throws a rock to the dragon screaming: "Hey Ho! Lets Go!" Then he runs away because the police comes into the scene. He paints the "A" of anarchy in the wall of the castle and walks away drinking a beer.
>>PROGRESIV
He arrives, plays his 26 minutes guitar solo. The dragon commits suicide becasue of boredom. He arrives where the princess is, playing another guitar solo, exploring all de technics learned in the last year of consercatory. The princess runs away looking for the "Heavy Metal" hero.
>>HARD ROCK
He arives to the castle in a red cadillac, sorrounded by 2 big boobed blondes and and drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels. He kills the dragon and then he make an orgy with the blondes and the princess.
>>GLAM
He arrives to the castle. The dragon laughs so much that let him in. He enters to the castle, steals the hair wax and the make up to the princess. After that he talks with the dragon about painting the castle of pink, has a few shots of coke and walks away.
Been a while..
This is me yesterday having a bite to eat.
P ♥ S &Hearts; Miss you guys! Will comment more soon!! ♥
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